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 Post subject: Ode to the Groundhoppers
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:16 am 

Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:44 pm
Posts: 3
...Apologies to anyone offended by odes!

Ode to Groundhoppers. Part 1

When I was just a nipper
I confided in my dad,
"I want to be a Groundhopper
It isn't just a fad"

He looked at me in disbelief
"Oh, where did I go wrong?
I thought you'd follow Liverpool."
He pondered all day long

He said,"you'll need an anorak,
A plastic bag and cap
A pad to write your memoirs in
A rail pass and a map."

I set off on my travels
And hopped onto a train
My first stop was at Daisy Hill
I braved the wind and rain.

I hopped across the Pennines
To Pontefract and Goole
Then travelled south to Tadley Town
To see their game with Poole.

I ventured on the Northern Hop
To Morpeth Town and Crook
Then Jarrow Roofing BCA
(I wrote these in my book).

I scribbled down team changes
When every goal was scored
And added up attendances
Whenever I was bored.

I noted every blade of grass
And never gave up hope
Of measuring geometrically
Which way the pitch would slope.

So next I'm off to Cornwall
To Launceston and Saltash,
But I'll have to get back home soon
As I'm running out of cash.

I've used up twenty biros
And filled three dozen pads
My friends think that I'm crazy
But I'm just Groundhopping Mad!

Part 2

The north and east I've done this year
I've hopped more than a frog
Ten thousand miles of groundhopping
Through wind,snow, rain and fog.

I went by train to Easington
(Although it got derailed)
And had to thumb a ride to York
The North Sea coast I sailed.

I't got the bug for collieries now
And hitched a lift to Frickley.
I marvelled at the giant slag
It's size and shape impressed me.

I started collecting chunks of coal,
Each piece a diamond stone.
I've one from Brodsworth,
Two from Thorne and three from Selby Town.

I'd climb the slags to view each pitch,
My plastic bag in tow,
The corner flags I'd photograph
And touch before I'd go.

The colliery slang rubbed off on me.
I'd "ee bye gum" all day,
The take 't whippets out 't match
- like in 't Frickley way.

I'd have wild dreams I'd scored a goal
For Staveley Miners Welfare
And Pontefract were in Champions League
(Though God knows how they got there).

If Groundhoppers are slightly mad
Then I must have dementia.
I'm doing all the railways next
-To Harrogate I'll venture.

The wife's not very happy, though,
Boy, she's in for a shock,
'Cos in the yard, next to the coal
Is space for rolling stock!

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